The White Shades

"I'll tell myself to be easy on myself because I'm still 19, it's okay if I haven't figured out my life fully yet." Most people, especially my age, haven't discovered their own self completely. Me neither. Including passion. People in my culture don't usually talk about passion, especially when it comes to choice of career and make a living. But for me, passion is so important to get a person going. I don't do a small research yet about passion, whether it has been popular term in the past or it's only popular for the millennials like me. Passion is somewhat happening in the world right now. People keep talking about, "What's your passion?", "My passion is on the fashion industry.", "I love youtube and game because it's my passion in life.", anything about passion. But do they really understand their passion? For me, passion is the list of things that give me the chills and excitement whenever I talk ...

I've come to a realization that all people is different. I finally embrace the difference between me and other people and come to a full understanding of the difference between people in this world. If we're about to talk about life, talk about people, talk about human existence, it's not going to end right away. The discussion may not come to a conclusion. The talk may consumes a lot of time. So many aspect in this life that can be discussed for everyone's self growth. What I've realize today is everybody is different. They have different stories to tell and we cannot judge them for their past. They're who they're today because of their past and of course we have no control over their past, even our very own past. We cannot change our past, so do they, why bother to judge other? Our past is what makes us today. It's a part of our growth and our way to find ourselves in this life. To find the reason of our existence. Like one of an influencer ever sa...

Lately I'm not sure what I'm feeling. It feels like riding a roller-coaster everyday. I don't know what should I feel, I don't know how I should react. I just... don't know. I feel like I'm losing track of my life. I'm getting out of track. Well, let's see through my past then. I was an introverted girl and so am I now. I've never been comfortable with myself enough to depend on myself rather than depending on somebody who has a close relationship with me like my best friend. That sucks, I know, not being able to depend on yourself and to you just depend on others for your moral support. I should have been the best friend I need myself. It feels like time has passed so much since I wrote my last reflection. I had been doing great actually, but not for this past 2-3 weeks. I can't recall exactly what makes me being like this. The thoughts just coming so sudden and filling my head, even they sometimes make me grasping for air so much that ...